ذهبت بالأمس مع اعز صديقاتي الى احدالمطاعم التي كنا نذهب اليها منذ عشر سنوات. تحدثنا في امور عدة حتى وصلنا الى العمق، بدأت تحدثني عن ما تشعر به تجاه شخص ما منذ عامين. انها لا تحبه بالمعنى القوي و المتبادل، و لكنها تشعر بتلك الموجات الكهرومغناطيسية كلماتراه او تتحدث اليه.... يااااه...انها رقيقة جدا! (الآن اتذكر و وجههاو عيناها وهي تتحدث) ... انها ليست مراهقة، انها ليست ساذجة، انها غير طائشة بالمرة.. انها جميلة، طول عمرها جميلة . و لكن ما مصير تلك المشاعر؟

انها مغلولة مكتوفة مخنوقة مفطوسة مدفونة بالحيا! لماذا ولدت تلك المشاعر التلقائية الصادقة؟ هل ولدت لتموت؟ هل من المعتاد ان نقتل ما نشعر به حقا ثم ندفع انفسنا للشعور و لو نصف ذاك القدر تجاه من يطرق الباب؟ انقتل مشاعر ولدت من صلب القلب لتبنى مشاعر اخرى لا نعلم من اين اتت؟ من يتخلى عن وليده من صلبه لتبني طفل آخر؟

هل ولدت تلك المشاعر لأن هذا هو الحال؟ المرأة انسان، و الإنسان يشعر... بالطبع الشعور سمة من سمات الإنسان، و لكن ليس هكذا... إنه ليس كالأكل و الشرب او حتى كالفكر... ليس كالروتين اليومي، بل انه موسمي... اجل موسمي، و موسمي جدا كمان. ماذا نفعل تجاه تلك الثمرات النادرة التي تزورنا مرة كل عام؟ بل و من الممكن ان تغيب اكثر من ذلك.... هل نقطفها؟ ام نتركها على الشجر لتذبل و تجف و تسقط ثم تختلط مع الغبار وتتلاشى؟ ........... ينفع كدة؟

الغريب بقى إني انا نفسي من اول الحاملين لراية العزة و الكرامة و المؤيدين بشدة لإخفاء تلك المشاعر... ايوه طبعا تختفى، و اوعي تبان خالص... تبان؟! يا خبر؟! لأ متبنش خاااالص...


كم قوام هو! اجل، فيتسم بالجرأة، و هي صفة لا اريد تحقيق اية مساواه بها... فليكن هذا الفارق موجود، فتبوح انت بما تريد، اما انا، فلا اريد، و سأظل استمتع بهذا الفارق.

يعني ايه؟ يعني يبقى الوضع على ما هو عليه....

Knud Holmboe... a great legend!

I was reading the book "The desert encounter" written by Knud Holmboe, in which he describes his journey across the desert of North Africa... This man impressed me and i was wondering why isn't this man famous in our history? He should be.. Thanks to Dr. Fadel Soliman for the reborn of his book.

I'll not describe him as good as you can find his biography, quotations and book to download on http://www.qurannow.com/knud-holmboe/

If you don't get to read the whole book, read the quotations please..

A bigger world..

I remember i entered a flat, a fine one, and found a beautiful corner with an arm chair, so I sat on the chair and relaxed. But it's been a long time sitting in this corner, 2 meters x 2 meters square area that you enjoy setting in but yet too small for yourself growing up... I stood up and start exploring the rest of the flat, wow it's huge! How come i didn't know all about it and it's MY flat?! mmm..there are nice spots and dark ones, beautiful other corners and ugly ones...mmm..I'm glad i discovered all those spaces including the ugly ones, I'm happy i can choose to stay at the comfortable places not only coz they are the only ones i know, but coz i knew what is beautiful and what is ugly and i can choose and i have the ability to do so... Walking along this flat made me discover more about myself while discovering it, learn more about what i like and what i don't like, what i prefer and what i would want to throw out of the window...discovering different sides of the flat made me discover more sides of my character, no matter what i found out, what matters is that i found out..

I don't mind breaking the walls and search for more, just started to feel the joy of discovery...

Once, someone wanted to bring me chocolate, and asked me which type i prefere, so I said "Light" (not dark), but as far as that person remebered, it was "White" and i never eat white chocolate :) That cute person brought me again "White chocolate"..hehe. But finally, i discovered that I like white chocolate...miam miam..it is yumy ;) I have tried light chocolate with hazelnut, almond, biscuits but never tried chocolate with care :) have anyone tried it? believe me it's the best ;)

He is...

He is a clever Doctor who has another clinic in a poor place,

Coz he knows who needs him most and who he'd love to help.

He is a clever engineer, but his life is not math,

Coz he knows when to use his mind and when to follow his feelings.

He is a successful business man who never stops thanking God for what he became.

He is a great author and thinker who perceives the world with an open mind.

He is a famous Da'eya, who lives for what he believes.

He is a man for who he is and not how he is,

He is considerate and caring,

He listens, understands, thinks and then talks,

He is wise and intellectual with his own view for life,

He is so cute, his company is so much fun,

He has strong beliefs, but he is not an extremist,

His heart can love, forgive and understand,

His conscious is his guardian, and his sense is his consultant.

He makes mistakes, he misunderstands,

He is not an angel,

But he apologises.

He gets angry and may be frustrated,

but for a logic reason.

He is a great man, husband and father.

He is...

I saw something...

On my way to my job today, I saw something i needed to see :) i was thinking yesterday if I'm dreaming about my life or not.. Are my principles real or fake? My friends made me feel I'm an aliant living in a cartoon...

I love what I believe in a lot :-( But if it's fake, I will not want to decieve myself.

I live in a place where we have to pass by a highway with desert on both sides; this morning on my way, I saw a banch of beautiful flowers, yellow shining flowers and they were like 5 bunches, not only one. Can such beautiful flowers grow in this sandy desert? I wondered..

And that was the answer of my question... Don't loose hope, there will always be beauty somewhere, and if you are a beautiful person, you'll be able to find it.